Monday, June 29, 2009

I Gots Me a Package #2

How lucky am I? I got to open another package today!

This one is from Khyra.

Khyra must know that humans can't be trusted. Look how she marked the package so that only I would open it.

I gave the package a good sniffing.

Then it was time to find out what was in there!

Here's the letter from Khyra. She writes so pretty.

This picture is only missing the duck.

The human said "great now you can have an indoor duck and an outdoor duck!"

Uh, I don't think so.

So a big thank you to Khyra for all the treats and the duckie and the unstuffed stuffie that I didn't get to chew yet!

Like I said I am one lucky dog!

Sunday, June 28, 2009

There's a Package at the Post Office for ME!

The humans said they have a pink slip from the post office and they have to pick up a package there tomorrow.

I know the package if for ME!

I'm so excited.

I've met the nicest doggies on Dogs With Blogs. I wanna do nice stuff.

Saturday, June 27, 2009

I Gots Me a Package

I have been riding to the mailbox everyday 'cause I knew there was something coming for me and I didn't want the humans to steal it. (They can't be trusted!)

Actually I'm expecting 2 packages. It is very exciting. I've never got a package before.

Well one came and it was from Stella. Here's me with the package.

Stella read about my duckie gettin mowed over and busted to bits! How nice is she that she sent me a new duckie!?!

I love the duckie and ran off with it right away!

Later I knew the duckie was tired so I let him have a sleepy. So this is where the humans found it.

There were also some treats that were very yummy and the human put them up so that I don't eat them all at once. Now I have to wait and the humans will give them to me one at a time if they think I've been good. Oh Well.

Thank You So So So much Stella.
You are one sweet doggie.

I also want to thank Stella for putting me at ease about being dognapped by the crew from Life With Dogs. I feel much better now and will sleep well.

Friday, June 26, 2009

The Coveted Gold Hydrant Award (A Thinly Veiled Kidnapping Plot)

Today I was awarded the coveted Gold Hydrant Award from Life With Dogs

This is a great honor for me and my mailbox overflowth!

But there is a disturbing plot that has been uncovered by this award. Life With Dogs is planning to KIDNAP ME!

Could this be true?

I might need to hire a bodyguard. Maybe I'll ask Mango. This is clearly a job for a relentlessly huge dog.

Tuesday, June 23, 2009

It's Baaack!

The giant glowing yellow ball in the sky is back. HeHeHe. You know I mean the sun, right? Oh, there was frolicking.

And then the humans got on the large loud grass shortening machines.


I was forced to spend the day watching.

No photos.

Too pathetic.

Sunday, June 21, 2009

Rain Rain Rain

What the heck is an Ark? 'Cause my human's gonna build one.

I don't mind a little rain. I may not like gettin a bath but I have no problem gettin wet in the rain.

But when I try to come in the house and I'm wet I get chased with a towel. So sometimes I sit outside until I'm dry.

This way I don't have to hear the Smelly Dog Song.

Do you know the Smelly Dog Song?

Smelly Dog,
Smelly Dog,
What is that in your fur?

Smelly Dog,
Smelly Dog,
It's all your fault!

If you don't get in the tub,
You'll never get a tummy rub!

If there is any hope,
It's gonna take a lot of soap.

Turn such a smelly dog
Into a pleasant pup!

Yeah, I know it's silly but remember, I didn't make it up!

Friday, June 19, 2009

Ode To My Duckie

My humans mowed over my Duckie
My humans mowed over my pal
My humans mowed over my Duckie
My duckie is in pieces now

Buy ME
Buy ME
Oh buy me a new duckie. Now!
Right now.

Buy ME
Buy ME
Oh Buy me a new Duckie now

This really blows. After Cousin Gryff, the mauler, dismantled most of my stuffies I was down to only 2 outdoor stuffies now that Duckie is gone I just have one

If I get to be alone with the computer and a credit card I'm gonna so a little cyber-shopping.

*sigh* I'm never alone with the computer and a credit card.

Thursday, June 18, 2009

My Name Is Hoover-Isn't That Ironic

My name is Hoover. The humans named me after a mechanical crumb sucking device used to "clean" the interiors of two legged domiciles.

Apparently, prior to me, all the dogs who lived with my humans were inhalators of crumbs. Legend has it that they would hear a crumb hit the floor and be there before the dust had settled. And they would eat the dust too.

So, before they even met me they decided they would name me after a popular crumb sucking machine.

Surprise! I don't particularly care for human cast offs found on the floor. If I come across a crumb on the floor I might lick it but I'll leave it there.

Luckily they named my sister after a much more powerful crumb sucking machine.

So if you want your floor clean call

If you want some furry puppy love call

Tuesday, June 16, 2009

Meet My Sister, She's A Real Pig (Seriously)

My humans have issues. They're sort of the Brangelina of the non-celeb set. But instead of adopting little humans from various lands, my humans adopt various little critters.

Exhibit #1 My sister Kirby (Don't get me started about the names) Trust me this is her best side.

Oh Fine! Here's a different view.

So you see my sister is a PIG. A real live snortin pig.

But we get along OK most of the time.

Here's a recent picture of us together in the yard.She easily weighs twice as much as me.

You wouldn't think it to look at her but she can move pretty fast when she wants to. Like anytime theres food around.
So the rule around Kirby is R-E-S-P-E-C-T.

Monday, June 15, 2009

Food From A CAN!!!!!!

First I have a confession. I'm know as a picky eater. I've been know to lay on the floor just a few feet from a "fresh" bowl of kibble and hang my head while the humans beg me to eat it.

It just isn't appealing to me. I have no desire to eat it. Even if my tummy is rumbling I'm just never hungry for dry kibble.

Since the Vet put me on auntie-bio-ticks it is really important to the humans that I have food in my belly when they slip me the pills. (And yes, I know there is a pill in that bread...duh.) So the humans decided to get a bit more creative with the food.

One day, to my complete surprise, they mixed in some moist delicious odoriferous yumminess in with the dry kibble. My tail nearly wagged right off my rumpity rump rump.

What is this wonderful, beautiful, lip smackin glop? And more importantly WHY THE HELL HAVEN'T YOU BEEN FEEDING ME THIS ALL MY LIFE?


I LIKE IT! I like it A LOT!

Now I'm right there waiting, watching, beggin them to get the bowl to the floor faster!

Oh Sweet food in the can, how I love you.

Sunday, June 14, 2009

It's true

The grass is greener on the other side of the fence.

Thursday, June 11, 2009

Books I Highly Recommend

I'm more than just a good lookin mutt with a battery powered ticker. I've got an intellectual side too. Dontcha know.

Here are some books that I really enjoyed reading and I even let my human read them.

This is one of my favorite writers. You'll really laugh out loud a lot with this one. You might not want to let your humans read it because it gives away some doggie secrets.

Now here is a human who really has a big heart and knows how to treat a dog. Your humans will really like this one and will learn something too.

I saved the best for last.I gotta warn you this really tugs on the ol' heart strings. Really, really a good book.

Summer is a great time to get some readin in. And reading outdoors combines two of my favorite things. If you get a chance to read any of these books let me know what you think of them.

Sunday, June 7, 2009

Are You Pullin My Leg?

Gryff is here for the weekend and he is telling me outrageous stories of life in the city. He must think my head is stuffed with fluff or something because some of his tails defy logic.

He says that big green grassy spaces are called "parks" and some parks don't allow dogs. That's just crazy. Grass and dogs go together like butts and sniffin.

He says the trees in the city usually have a fence around them and dogs don't pee on the trees. Dogs get the neighborhood news from the fire hydrant which is a big metal thing that dogs pee on. Here in the real world we only put fences around trees that the goats have access to and there's no such thing as a fire hydrant. And dogs pee where ever they damn well please.

He says that in the city he is always on a leash and so are all the other dogs. The only time a dog can be off its leash is in a "designated area". Well, if this is true then the city is no place for me. The only time I wear a leash is if I'm goin somewhere special. Like to the vet (where if I wasn't on a leash I would run and no one could catch me) or the ice cream place (where if I wasn't on a leash I would sample every one's snacks whether they liked it or not). Dogs were not meant to live their lives on a leash.

I refuse to listen to such nonsense

Now brace yourselves for this one cuz it is a whopper. Gryff says he lives in a tall building up high and there is a room that moves up and down. He rides up in the room to get from the ground floor to his house and down in the room to get from his house to the ground. WHAT!?!?! Rooms that move up and down? Yeah right. I'm not stupid. This is so crazy it is offensive. I just might have to take him out snipe hunting for that.

This is just too much I must protest
All this from a dog that slept with (IN MY BED!) and then dismembered my xmas monkey!

Friday, June 5, 2009

Humans Are So Paranoid and Late Night Shinnanigans

I was having a slow day.

The humans got all worried that something was wrong with me so the took me to the Vet.

This was a Vet that I hadn't met before. But he had heard about me. After all I'm Hoover, The Wonder Dog with the Pacemaker. I'm almost famous.

So we went through all the usual stuff. Listenin to the ol' ticker, feeling the pacemaker in the neck, turn the head and cough (hehe kiddin).

Then he violated me in a prison cellmate kind of way (he called it "taking my temperature"). Turns out I was "running a fever" and while I've run a few memorable things I don't ever recall a fever being one of them.

I have tested positive for Erlichiosis in the past, thanks to those nasty ticks, but I never had any symptoms. So it was decided that I should be started on antibiotics. The Vet said something about "protecting the investment" and the human agreed. From what I can tell all this means to me is I get some special human food with a pill in it. They think I don't know about the pill but I do.

Everyone has been keeping an eye on me to make sure I'm feeling OK. To prove to them that I'm fine and to drive them just a little bit crazy I have been refusing to come into the house at night.

Last night I saw something (and I'll never tell what it was) and I took off after it barking like a wild dog. That brought ALL the humans out and they felt they had to come looking for me. Humans are terrible trackers, this is why they have grocery stores. I listened to them going all over the property with flashlights calling for me. Then they got in the car and someone took off in the rtv still looking for me. They were in the woods and in the pastures with the flashlights. It was quite humorous. I planned to sneak back to the house to be there waiting when they returned but I got sidetracked and they found me in the garden.

They made a big fuss about being worried and looked me over for boo boos but I was fine. I got picked up and brought into the house which was NOT what I wanted but it seemed to make them happy so I didn't argue. By this time it was after midnight and we all went to bed.

Wednesday, June 3, 2009

Give Me Back the Baby Bambi!

I get to chase a lot of things out here in the country. I met my first baby Bambi.

It was really fast and I didn't get a good look at it until it jumped into the barnyard and played dead.

Maybe it was just resting. What's funny is that while it was safe from me in the barnyard it had no idea what trouble it had gotten itself into. I might seem scary but baby Bambi was about to come face to face with CLEO!Cleo is my sort of sister and she is an emu. She is fierce and wants to squash anything that doesn't belong in the barnyard.

I was barking and Cleo was booming and that brought a human. The first human called the other human because it was gonna take two of them. One of them just to control me.

They tricked me and got me into the car. Then one human scooped up baby Bambi, and the other took some pictures.

Did you know that Bambies can scream? Well, trust me they can.

The human returned baby Bambi to the woods where its mother found it.

And all is well with the world again.

Monday, June 1, 2009

They're All Gone!


Just like that the Grandparents left. They got in the car with out me and went to the airport. I miss them.

Then Gryff's humans came for the weekend and when they left they took Gryff with them.

Suddenly it's just me and my regular humans.

It will take me a few days to survey all the damage Gryff left behind. There's a difference between "sharing" my toys and handing them over to be ripped to shreds!