Are You Pullin My Leg?

Gryff is here for the weekend and he is telling me outrageous stories of life in the city. He must think my head is stuffed with fluff or something because some of his tails defy logic.

He says that big green grassy spaces are called "parks" and some parks don't allow dogs. That's just crazy. Grass and dogs go together like butts and sniffin.


He says the trees in the city usually have a fence around them and dogs don't pee on the trees. Dogs get the neighborhood news from the fire hydrant which is a big metal thing that dogs pee on. Here in the real world we only put fences around trees that the goats have access to and there's no such thing as a fire hydrant. And dogs pee where ever they damn well please.

He says that in the city he is always on a leash and so are all the other dogs. The only time a dog can be off its leash is in a "designated area". Well, if this is true then the city is no place for me. The only time I wear a leash is if I'm goin somewhere special. Like to the vet (where if I wasn't on a leash I would run and no one could catch me) or the ice cream place (where if I wasn't on a leash I would sample every one's snacks whether they liked it or not). Dogs were not meant to live their lives on a leash.

I refuse to listen to such nonsense
.

Now brace yourselves for this one cuz it is a whopper. Gryff says he lives in a tall building up high and there is a room that moves up and down. He rides up in the room to get from the ground floor to his house and down in the room to get from his house to the ground. WHAT!?!?! Rooms that move up and down? Yeah right. I'm not stupid. This is so crazy it is offensive. I just might have to take him out snipe hunting for that.

This is just too much I must protest
All this from a dog that slept with (IN MY BED!) and then dismembered my xmas monkey!